‘Will you marry me?’
The question, all of a sudden, made me think what if I said no. It made me wonder if I’d always meant no whenever I’d said yes to him. What if the kind of love I received was not what I’d wished for.
He got down on one knee. The smile on his face induced a visceral fear inside of me. I swallowed hard as his eyes met mine. His eyes twinkled as he opened a small red box and held it out to me.
What kind of love did I wish for – I thought to myself. Was it the kind I received from Sameer who I had rejected thinking I deserved better?
Maybe it was what I’d received from Veer who I had loved but he couldn’t afford a diamond to propose to me.
His eyebrows scrunched together as I remained silent, fear of rejection prominent on his face. He opened his mouth but I interrupted saying –
‘Yes, I will.’
The voice inside my head shouted – ‘did you mean it?’
I smiled at him as he slid the ring on my finger, ‘no I didn’t…but then, did I ever wish for love? If I had, I wouldn’t have rejected true love again and again…’, I shut the voice up one more time.
Written by Chirasree Bose