She wasn’t my forever

The fragrance of the perfume woke me up this morning; the moment it filled my nostrils, I flashed back to a moment, a very vague one.

“What perfume is it?…the smell is too good…” I recalled myself saying to her.

“I don’t know…sneaked it out of mom’s room…” She’d started laughing hysterically.

And then I planted a kiss on her cheek.

I opened my eyes and looked in the direction where the smell came from.

“Why’re you up so early?” My wife asked, spritzing the perfume behind her ears.

I sniffed it and let out a sigh; “the smell woke me up…” I said softly.

“Oh! is it too loud?…I though so too, but the smell was irresistible, you know!” She laughed lightly.

“…so is the memory attached to it.” I muttered under my breath.

My wife left for work. Getting off my bed, I pulled back the curtains and looked through the glass window. For reasons unknown, I didn’t feel like hurrying up or getting ready for work.

That memory of her still lingered in my mind. Why all of a sudden did I remember her? I wasn’t supposed to, not because I wanted to forget her or I dreaded the memories. She had always been there in my memories; Sometimes I found her in my wife’s giggles, sometimes in a child’s laughter, or in the smirk of my cranky boss and sometimes in a very old song. I couldn’t recall the lyrics of it, so I started humming the tune.

There was no regret, neither was there any grief for I knew I didn’t really lose her. She didn’t lose me either. We were never meant to be together; there were no dreams, no expectations, no strings attached. Yet we both knew there was a connection, a bond that couldn’t be broken by parting ways.

We never cried for each other, rather we celebrated the day we broke off. It was her idea; she wanted to celebrate each and every day of her life. I wasn’t like her; I wasn’t happy that day, so I sat in a corner and watched her dance like crazy. Was she dancing like that just to stop the sadness from reaching her heart? Maybe, maybe not. Her madness was always unpredictable.

I smiled, leaning against the window. We’d lost touch with each other after a year or two. But she, her smile and her babbles never really left my heart. She still had the capability to make my day just with a glimpse of her in my dream.

I grabbed my mobile, texted my boss that I needed a sick day and made myself a cup of hot coffee. It seemed like a perfect day to reminisce the memories of my ex-girlfriend and a relationship that we both had promised to celebrate forever.

– Chirasree, a dreamer.