Today wasn’t a good day, yet I managed to get through it. You know sometimes I feel really tired, not because of my daily struggles but because I know I am struggling for something that never mattered to me.
Today I was sitting before my computer and staring blankly at the screen; At the same time, I was on a conference call. Their voices reached my ears, but I wasn’t actually listening. I opened an incognito tab on my browser and then continued writing my story from where I left off previously. A couple of minutes later, I heard my name being called out on the phone. I said – ‘Yeah, I’m there.’
‘I asked you a question…did you hear it?’ My manager asked me.
I replied – ‘Sorry, I missed it…could you please repeat it again?’
He was silent for some time and then repeated the question. I could tell he was upset with me; anyway, I managed to answer it with a smidgen of guilt for not paying attention earlier. A voice inside told me – ‘I’m happy that you were paying attention to something that matters.’ I sighed and shrugged it off.
I started writing the story again. A minute later my manager again spoke up – ‘Hey Diya!…Get the job done by end of the day. Okay?’
‘You have to complete this chapter by end of the day. Okay?’ My inner voice reminded me. I answered – ‘Yes.’, not knowing who I actually replied to. I hung up and glanced at my wristwatch. ‘I still have 4 hours left until the day ends.’ I sighed again, not being able to comprehend what was more important. To me, it’s my story. But to the independent girl inside me, who has to pay her bills and earn a living, meeting the target at work and getting a good appraisal from her manager seems more crucial.
Tell me Dear Diary, what according to you is more important. The job I’m doing is of minimal importance to me, but 4 years back when I got the offer it seemed like the best way to fulfill my dream of becoming independent. What I really want to do is complete my story . It’s not my bread and butter right now, but some day I want to make it my profession.
Do you have an answer?
Huh! I’ll go to bed now. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting to attend.
‘Screw the meeting…focus on the next chapter of your story.’ See…this is what the voice inside my head told me just now. What should I do?
– Diya. 22nd March.
Diya put the diary aside and closed her eyes.
‘Teach the independent girl to dream again like she did while pursuing her independence. Tell her to get ready for another struggle to fulfill your dream. Show her your writings, don’t just confine them to a hidden part deep inside your heart. Ask her to close her eyes and dream with you. Make her realize that sometimes running after a dream is more worthy than compromising it for the sake of reality.’ – from your dear diary.
Diya opened her eyes with a wide grin on her face this morning.
‘Get ready my realistic other half! I’ll teach you to dream again.’ She said, jumping out of the bed. – Chirasree, a dreamer.